In Rushdie’s “Midnight’s Children”, among the many gifts the protagonist Saleem Sinai was endowed with, one was that of attracting fathers. In reality, Americans choose to unofficially adopt foreign students to smoothen an otherwise disquieting acculturation process.
Typically, the foster family provides for its fosters by assisting them in furnishing their lodgings, inviting them for home cooked meals during holidays like Christmas/Thanksgiving and sometimes, imbibing them with Christian values. Often, relationships with foster parents turn out to be rewarding experiences in the sense that the foster gains a “family away from family” to fall back upon when life becomes stressful.
Despite the numerous advantages of being fostered, many students prefer not to be adopted by an American family for a variety of reasons, a popular one being proselytization. There are instances where the pressure of attending church weighs down upon the student as a way of repaying favors rendered. While it is true that most Christian families find the impetus for helping others in their own strong Christian beliefs, many don’t force their religion on the adoptees and in fact, go so far as to adjust to their fosters ‘ pre-existing cultural and religious values.
Others, like me, feel disloyal to the original family back home at the thought of entering a foster home. There is a perceived sense of betrayal in the very idea of an association that reeks of pseudo-parenthood- something not as unpretentious as friendship and somewhat less intimate than a blood bond. Obeying such sentiments is in a way unfortunate considering that foster homes can serve as invaluable conduits of cultural exchange paving the way for a world more tolerant of diversification. On the other hand, some feel burdened just having to satisfy the expectations of one family that the prospect of acquiring one more is intimidating.
In rare cases, the foster family evolves from being a substitute family to an extension of the family back home. In such cases, foster parents meet birth parents and a life-long friendship ensues characterized by the presence of members of both families at important functions, a cross-cultural marriage engendering a common pool of emotion and knowledge. This is the stage where barriers are fully torn down and distances, truly bridged.
Another less-common scenario is where the foster family supplants the original family to become the primary cartographer in the foster’s life guiding him through a set of values the foster internalizes. This can happen through religious indoctrination or if the foster was never very attached to his original family to begin with (parents having separated, abusive siblings, stagnant values), affording him a new lease at happiness.
Recent Comments